Begins to smile at people
Can briefly calm them self (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
Tries to look at parent
Coos, makes gurgling sounds
Turns head toward sounds
Pays attention to faces
Begins to follow things with eyes and recognize people at a distance
Begins to act bored (cries, fussy) if activity doesn’t change
Can hold head up and begins to push up when lying on tummy
Makes smoother movements with arms and legs
Doesn’t respond to loud sounds
Doesn’t watch things as they move
Doesn’t smile at people
Doesn’t bring hands to mouth
Can’t hold head up when pushing up when on tummy
Smiles spontaneously, especially at people
Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
Copies some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning
Begins to babble
Babbles with expression and copies sounds they hear
Cries in different ways to show hunger, pain, or being tired
Lets you know if they are happy or sad
Responds to affection
Reaches for toy with one hand
Uses hands and eyes together, such as seeing a toy and reaching for it
Follows moving things with eyes from side to side
Watches faces closely
Recognizes familiar people and things at a distance
Holds head steady, unsupported
Pushes down on legs when feet are on a hard surface
May be able to roll over from tummy to back
Can hold a toy and shake it and swing at dangling toys
Brings hands to mouth
When lying on stomach, pushes up to elbows
Doesn’t watch things as they move
Doesn’t smile at people
Can’t hold head steady
Doesn’t coo or make sounds
Doesn’t bring things to mouth
Doesn’t push down with legs when feet are placed on a hard surface
Has trouble moving one or both eyes in all directions
Knows familiar faces and begins to know if someone is a stranger
Likes to play with others, especially parents
Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
Likes to look at self in a mirror
Responds to sounds by making sounds
Strings vowels together when babbling (“ah,” “eh,” “oh”) and likes taking turns with parent while making sounds
Responds to own name
Makes sounds to show joy and displeasure
Begins to say consonant sounds (jabbering with “m,” “b”)
Looks around at things nearby
Brings things to mouth
Shows curiosity about things and tries to get things that are out of reach
Begins to pass things from one hand to the other
Rolls over in both directions (front to back, back to front)
Begins to sit without support
When standing, supports weight on legs and might bounce
Rocks back and forth, sometimes crawling backward before moving forward
Doesn’t try to get things that are in reach
Shows no affection for caregivers
Doesn’t respond to sounds around him
Has difficulty getting things to mouth
Doesn’t make vowel sounds (“ah”, “eh”, “oh”)
Doesn’t roll over in either direction
Doesn’t laugh or make squealing sounds
Seems very stiff, with tight muscles
Seems very floppy, like a rag doll
May be afraid of strangers
May be clingy with familiar adults
Has favorite toys
Understands “no”
Makes a lot of different sounds like “mamamama” and “bababababa”
Copies sounds and gestures of others
Uses fingers to point at things
Watches the path of something as it falls
Looks for things they see you hide
Plays peek-a-boo
Puts things in their mouth
Moves things smoothly from one hand to the other
Picks up things like cereal o’s between thumb and index finger
Stands, holding on
Can get into sitting position
Sits without support
Pulls to stand
Crawls
Doesn’t bear weight on legs with support
Doesn’t sit with help
Doesn’t babble (“mama”, “baba”, “dada”)
Doesn’t play any games involving back-and-forth play
Doesn’t respond to own name
Doesn’t seem to recognize familiar people
Doesn’t look where you point
Doesn’t transfer toys from one hand to the other
Is shy or nervous with strangers
Cries when mom or dad leaves
Shows fear in some situations
Hands you a book when he/she wants to hear a story
Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”
Responds to simple spoken requests
Uses simple gestures, like shaking head “no” or waving “bye-bye”
Makes sounds with changes in tone (sounds more like speech)
Says “mama” and “dada” and exclamations like “uh-oh!”
Explores things in different ways, like shaking, banging, throwing
Finds hidden things easily
Looks at the right picture or thing when it’s named
Copies gestures
Starts to use things correctly; for example, drinks from a cup, brushes hair
Bangs two things together
Puts things in a container, takes things out of a container
Lets things go without help
Pokes with index (pointer) finger
Follows simple directions like “pick up the toy”
Gets to a sitting position without help
Pulls up to stand, walks holding on to furniture (“cruising”)
May take a few steps without holding on
May stand alone
Doesn’t crawl
Can’t stand when supported
Doesn’t search for things that he/she sees you hide
Doesn’t say single words like “mama” or “dada”
Doesn’t learn gestures like waving or shaking head
Doesn’t point to things
Loses skills he/she once had
Likes to hand things to others as play
May have temper tantrums
May be afraid of strangers
Shows affection to familiar people
Plays simple pretend, such as feeding a doll
May cling to caregivers in new situations
Points to show others something interesting
Explores alone but with parent close by
Says several single words
Says and shakes head “no”
Points to show someone what he wants
Knows what ordinary things are for; for example, telephone, brush, spoon
Points to get the attention of others
Shows interest in a doll or stuffed animal by pretending to feed
Points to one body part
Scribbles on his own
Can follow 1-step verbal commands without any gestures; for example, sits when you say “sit down”
Walks alone
May walk up steps and run
Pulls toys while walking
Can help undress herself
Drinks from a cup
Eats with a spoon
Doesn’t point to show things to others
Can’t walk
Doesn’t know what familiar things are for
Doesn’t copy others
Doesn’t gain new words
Doesn’t have at least 6 words
Doesn’t notice or mind when a caregiver leaves or returns
Loses skills he once had
Copies others, especially adults and older children
Gets excited when with other children
Shows more and more independence
Shows defiant behavior (doing what he/she has been told not to)
Plays mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children, such as in chase games
Points to things or pictures when they are named
Knows names of familiar people and body parts
Says sentences with 2 to 4 words
Follows simple instructions
Repeats words overheard in conversation
Points to things in a book
Finds things even when hidden under two or three covers
Begins to sort shapes and colors
Completes sentences and rhymes in familiar books
Plays simple make-believe games
Builds towers of 4 or more blocks
Might use one hand more than the other
Follows two-step instructions such as “Pick up your shoes and put them in the closet.”
Names items in a picture book such as a cat, bird, or dog
Stands on tiptoe
Kicks a ball
Begins to run
Climbs onto and down from furniture without help
Walks up and down stairs holding on
Throws ball overhand
Makes or copies straight lines and circles
Doesn’t use 2-word phrases (for example, “drink milk”)
Doesn’t know what to do with common things, like a brush, phone, fork, spoon
Doesn’t copy actions and words
Doesn’t follow simple instructions
Doesn’t walk steadily
Loses skills he/she once had
Understands the idea of “mine” and “his” or “hers”
Shows a wide range of emotions
Separates easily from mom and dad
May get upset with major changes in routine
Follows instructions with 2 or 3 steps
Talks well enough for strangers to understand most of the time
Carries on a conversation using 2 to 3 sentences
Can work toys with buttons, levers, and moving parts
Plays make-believe with dolls, animals, and people
Copies a circle with pencil or crayon
Turns book pages one at a time
Screws and unscrews jar lids or turns door handle
Climbs well
Runs easily
Walks up and down stairs, one foot on each step
Falls down a lot or has trouble with stairs
Drools or has very unclear speech
Can’t work simple toys (such as peg boards, simple puzzles, turning handle)
Doesn’t speak in sentences
Doesn’t understand simple instructions
Doesn’t play pretend or make-believe
Doesn’t want to play with other children or with toys
Doesn’t make eye contact
Loses skills he/she once had
Is more and more creative with make-believe play
Would rather play with other children than by himself/herself
Talks about what he/she likes and what he/she is interested in
Knows some basic rules of grammar, such as correctly using “he” and “she”
Sings a song or says a poem from memory such as the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” or the “Wheels on the Bus”
Tells stories
Can say first and last name
Names some colors and some numbers
Understands the idea of counting
Draws a person with 2 to 4 body parts
Uses scissors
Tells you what he/she thinks is going to happen next in a book
Hops and stands on one foot up to 2 seconds
Catches a bounced ball most of the time
Pours, cuts with supervision, and mashes own food
Can’t jump in place
Has trouble scribbling
Shows no interest in interactive games or make-believe
Ignores other children or doesn’t respond to people outside the family
Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet
Can’t retell a favorite story
Doesn’t follow 3-part commands
Doesn’t understand “same” and “different”
Doesn’t use “me” and “you” correctly
Speaks unclearly
Loses skills he/she once had
Wants to please/be like friends
More likely to agree with rules
Likes to sing, dance, and act
Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Shows more independence
Is sometimes demanding and sometimes very cooperative
Speaks very clearly
Tells a simple story using full sentences
Uses future tense; for example, “Grandma will be here.”
Counts 10 or more things
Can draw a person with at least 6 body parts
Can print some letters or numbers
Copies a triangle and other geometric shapes
Knows about things used every day, like money and food
Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer
Hops; may be able to skip
Uses a fork and spoon and sometimes a table knife
Can use the toilet on his/her own
Swings and climbs
Doesn’t show a wide range of emotions
Shows extreme behavior (unusually fearful, aggressive, shy or sad)
Unusually withdrawn and not active
Is easily distracted, has trouble focusing on one activity for more than 5 minutes
Doesn’t respond to people, or responds only superficially
Can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
Doesn’t play a variety of games and activities
Can’t give first and last name
Doesn’t use plurals or past tense properly
Doesn’t talk about daily activities or experiences
Doesn’t draw pictures
Can’t brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help
Loses skills he once had
Middle childhood brings many changes in a child’s life. By this time, children can dress themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie their shoes. Having independence from family becomes more important now. Events such as starting school bring children this age into regular contact with the larger world. Friendships become more and more important. Physical, social, and mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a critical time for children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends, schoolwork, and sports.
Show more independence from parents and family.
Start to think about the future.
Understand more about his or her place in the world.
Pay more attention to friendships and teamwork.
Want to be liked and accepted by friends.
Show rapid development of mental skills.
Learn better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings.
Have less focus on one’s self and more concern for others.
Show affection for your child. Recognize his/her accomplishments.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him/her to help with household tasks, such as setting the table.
Talk with your child about school, friends, and things he/she looks forward to.
Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him/her to help people in need.
Help your child set his/her own achievable goals.
Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play.
Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when he/she has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your community.
Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school.
Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
Experience more peer pressure.
Become more aware of his body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.
Face more academic challenges at school.
Become more independent from the family.
Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
Have an increased attention span.
Spend time with your child. Talk with him/her about his/her friends, his/her accomplishments, and what challenges he/she will face.
Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.
Help your child develop his/her own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him/her about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
Meet the families of your child’s friends.
Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him/her to help people in need. Talk with him/her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
Help your child set his/her own goals. Encourage him/her to think about skills and abilities he/she would like to have and about how to develop them.
Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from him/her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help him/her to know what to do in most situations.
This is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. Hormones change as puberty begins. Most boys grow facial and pubic hair and their voices deepen. Most girls grow pubic hair and breasts, and start their period. They might be worried about these changes and how they are looked at by others. This also will be a time when your teen might face peer pressure to use alcohol, tobacco products, and drugs, and to have sex. Other challenges can be eating disorders, depression, and family problems. At this age, teens make more of their own choices about friends, sports, studying, and school. They become more independent, with their own personality and interests, although parents are still very important.
Show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes.
Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence.
Experience more moodiness.
Show more interest in and influence by peer group.
Express less affection toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
Feel stress from more challenging school work.
Develop eating problems.
Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, unsafe sex, and other problems.
Have more ability for complex thought.
Be better able to express feelings through talking.
Develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.
Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
Meet and get to know your teen’s friends.
Show an interest in your teen’s school life.
Help your teen make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
Respect your teen’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.
When there is a conflict, be clear about goals and expectations (like getting good grades, keeping things clean, and showing respect), but allow your teen input on how to reach those goals (like when and how to study or clean).
This is a time of changes for how teenagers think, feel, and interact with others, and how their bodies grow. Most girls will be physically mature by now, and most will have completed puberty. Boys might still be maturing physically during this time. Your teen might have concerns about her body size, shape, or weight. Eating disorders also can be common, especially among girls. During this time, your teen is developing his unique personality and opinions. Relationships with friends are still important, yet your teen will have other interests as he develops a more clear sense of who he is. This is also an important time to prepare for more independence and responsibility; many teenagers start working, and many will be leaving home soon after high school.
Have more interest in romantic relationships and sexuality.
Go through less conflict with parents.
Show more independence from parents.
Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
Feel a lot of sadness or depression, which can lead to poor grades at school, alcohol or drug use, unsafe sex, and other problems.
Learn more defined work habits.
Show more concern about future school and work plans.
Be better able to give reasons for their own choices, including about what is right or wrong.
Talk with your teen about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
Show interest in your teen’s school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
Encourage your teen to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
Compliment your teen and celebrate his efforts and accomplishments.
Show affection for your teen. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
Respect your teen’s opinion. Listen to her without playing down her concerns.
Encourage your teen to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
If your teen engages in interactive internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage her to make good decisions about what she posts and the amount of time she spends on these activities.
If your teen works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibilities, and other ways of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
Talk with your teen and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs or under pressure to have sex, or is offered a ride by someone who has been drinking.
Respect your teen’s need for privacy.
Encourage your teen to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
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